You May Ask Yourself

How did I get here? How is it possible that 5 months ago Ed Jr. was born? Where did the time go? 5 months may not seem like much to you, but to me it was an eternity.

Last night we discovered a tooth in Jr.'s mouth. You can't so much see it, but damn you can feel it when he chomps down on your finger. Just goes to show you, I was right. For the last month I have been telling everyone that he is teething, and everyone always says, boy that is a little early, don't you think. Even though I am a new mom, I know what is what.

He still hates taking naps, but every now and again, we have a moment of glory where he sleeps for an unprecedented hour or even two. We try to tell ourselves that everything is going to change and this is the way it is going to be from now on. Boy are we wrong. Just when you get used to something, it is going to change.

Nights are pretty good. I am just going to say it and let you all sit in judgement, we co-sleep. Much more co-sleeping than the co-sleeper even. He sleeps in bed with us, but I keep him tucked safely between me and his co-sleeper. I worry that his dad will roll over on him. Jr. recently said "hell NO!" to his co-sleeper, and frankly I am too tired to fight it. I keep telling myself that at six months we will begin to transition him to his crib. Ed Sr. laughs at me when I say it aloud. Ed Jr. also laughs. Until the SIDS time is over, I want him near me. I can't imagine how exhausting it would be to get up 1,000 times in the night, travel down the hall to his bedroom and check to make sure he is breathing, tripping over at least one Labrador on the way.

I know co-sleeping is controversial, but it works for us. I wouldn't recommend it, nor would I dissuade anyone from it. Like I said, it works for us. Check with me again when he is still in our bed at a year.

Even when I am spraying down his cloth diapers, even when I am wiping puke off of my clothes, even when I am locked in a creepy pumping room at work, I am so filled with love for my beautiful son, I feel like I am going to crack open and spill love all over the floor.