The Man Who Changed Everything

At almost 2 months old Graham has rocked our worlds. In a good way of course. And let me preface this blaaaaaag with a disclaimer: I have been thinking a lot lately. That is what you do during your last few weeks of maternity leave. Think. And bake, apparently.

The story of how Graham came to be. I had applied for three jobs, one with the EPA, one with the Dept. of Ag and one with the Forest Service. I had been shot down for all three in one week and I said to Ed, "F- it, lets have another baby." You see, we had been talking about it for a while, ever since we heard our neighbor girls (2 sisters) playing with each other in the backyard while we were trying desperately to entertain a 1 year old and get yard work done at the same time. We knew that we had better manufacture a little buddy for Ed Jr. The last of the rejection notices came in an email and I took it as a sign that it was baby time again. Everything happens for a reason, right?




Well the next day I got another email from the f.s. that they had not hired anyone for the job and to apply for the job again when it was going to be reposted sometime in the next month. No more baby, I said to Ed. Well it turns out it was too late. Once was all it took. As if Baby Gam was meant to be. In fact, I think he was.

I didn't think there was any way I could even be pregnant, and in fact one negative pregnancy test agreed. Still I was a little late. After a night of what shouldn't have been too many vodka tonics, I felt like hell and decided to take another pregnancy test. Positive?!?!? Oh come on. Magic baby.

The next step was the f.s. re advertising my *dream job* me interviewing and getting it. OH the late night crying sessions about whether or not I should take the job. Top that with a delightful surge of hormones and I wonder why Ed didn't take Jr. and steal away into the night.

Let me pause here for a quick acknowledgement of my amazing friends and life coaches who patiently listen to me agonize every decision in my life and give me fantastic support and advice. . . I call you the life coach committee.

I knew that if I stayed with my old job at the State that I would just walk away when Baby Gam was born and stay home with the boys. I knew that going to the f.s. already 3 months pregnant would be tough, I wouldn't have any leave and a great deal of my job would be held back because no one wants to take a hugely pregnant woman out in the mountains to look at soil. Plus I was making a commitment to working over staying at home. I mean who is going to pick up the boys after school? Imagine if you will the late night crying sessions Ed had to put up with. Well, right or wrong, I decided to do the best job I could as a mom and put my career back on track.

Well, the job turned out to be less than dreamy so far. I mean it could turn around and maybe it will. But here I stand again on the precipice of returning to work and again making the decision to not be a SAHM. Monday I return to work. The only consolation prize is that I get to take Baby Gam with me. Technically he could be with me for an entire year, but we will see how that pans out. Right now I am going on a month by month plan. We will see how it goes this month and then see how it goes next month.


The other thing about Graham is that he brought along with him a big ole eviction notice. We have really outgrown our house. There are a lot of things to love about this house, but the fact remains, it is small and two boys do not stack well. So we started house hunting (insert fork in eye). Our house needs grew and grew until we were looking at houses that were bigger than I ever imagined that we would need and had prices that blew out of range of what I thought we could afford. Oh and we will either live in the valley or MT City because apparently they just don't make affordable mini mansions here in town. . . So, in order to get the house we need (want) I must work so that we can afford a mortgage, shoes for Jr. and a little extra to take Selma to the vet and get her teeth pulled.

I am terrified of pulling Jr. out of "school". He is such a social creature and learns like crazy and I worry that keeping him home with me would stunt his development. Plus I can't watch that much George, Tinkerbell and Princess Frog without checking into Warm Springs.


So add to the list of things I think about every second of every day is how much I ADORE Sweet Baby Gam. Let me summarize for you. Magic baby, big busy toddler, new job, bigger house, conflicted mommy. Got all that?

I know that everything happens for a reason. Graham is meant to be, he is here to change things, make our lives better. He is as sweet as candy and as hard as it is going to be to decide to go to work every day rather than stay home and watch him sleep, we need a bigger house and Jr. needs school and his ladies. So maybe the best decision for him and our family is for me to hustle my ass to work on Monday morning and quit my bitching. Hell, I know what a lucky lady I am. So lucky on so many levels.


Okay since you were such a good reader and listened to me whine relentlessly you are rewarded with a video. We shot this to use later, blackmail if you will. Jr. freaking LOVES Tinkerbell. He is 100% ladies man. He told my mom the other night that he wanted to marry the little girl in the princess costume from the costume catalog herein referred to as "MY MAGAZINE". We just recorded Tinkerbell on the DVR last week and have already watched it at least 100 times. I invested in the other Tinkerbell video and have seen it maybe 50 times since Sunday, and already have plans for the big 9/21 release of the Tinkerbell trifecta. You may say that I am feeding his princess and fairy obsession, but no, I am just taking a little mental vacation from George. Fairies it is then.


As for Graham. Still sleepy. Still sweet. My mom and I took him on quite the little Labor Day road trip to meet his great grandmother. She and Ron were smitten and other than the sad tummy on the drive there, Graham was a champ. In fact, I think he loved the break from all of the hustle and bustle around here.




Bonus for you Cissie. So cute.