20 Below Zero

The Eds and I are hunkered down in the basement to wait out the big storm. Ed Sr. has a touch of the stomach flu, so it has been all couch all day. I seriously think that Jr. got a little bored with us today. He chased the dogs in the walker, he played with his toys on the floor, he looked at both of us like "hey guys, when are we going to go somewhere. Do something. See someone? Where is Cissie?"



It offered me a lot of time to think.

Every day I think a lot about things to write on this blog. Then I go to type and blah. Writers block.

Lately, I worry that I am not providing Jr. enough stimulation to keep his development up to speed. There is no reason for me to worry, other than it is in the nature of motherhood to obsess over irrational fears. I also wonder if he loves me nearly as much as I love him. Or if he ever will. Although, I doubt that is possible, because I love him so much my heart feels like it is breaking.



I also miss him when he is sleeping. I know that is crazy because I work my ass off to get him to take naps and sleep at night, but when he does sleep, I want to peek at him and give him kisses.



Soon it will be his first Christmas, and at 8 months old, he will have no clue. He did like his first Christmas tree.



I keep asking our other childed friends what they bought their babies for their first Christmases, and they all say the same thing, nothing. I mean, he won't know, and he will be getting all sorts of loot from his grandparents. Never fear, we aren't totally scroogetastic, we are going to get him a few things, a sound machine to play in his room to protect his naps from all of the noises going on outside his room. We are also going to get him a wood toy car. It is made locally and pretty darn cool. I am sure he won't care about either of his presents and be far more interested in the wrapping paper. Next year, it will be a far bigger deal. . .